15:26 HER: Just so u no the children shall not b here Monday and from now on we stick 2 the set days if u can't do that the u will miss seeing them that week
16:18 HIM: You have ignored the issue of Derek, has he been spoken to? Why should his conduct affect my access to my children or theirs to me?
09:16 HIM: You wouldn't know, I don't even think you were there. He certainly did, ask him if the words: Derek "I'll kick you in a minute" H "No" Derek "I will, and my kick's a lot harder than yours, believe me" bring back any recollection? If you are still lying to each other then I'll help you with the evidence. Actions speak louder than texts I believe.
22:49 HER: Why r u saying all this rubbish to Derek he has been more of a father 2 your 2 children in the 21/2 year than u ever have he would never ever hurt them what game r u playing???
23:04 HIM: He contacted me and started slinging the judgements around, not the other way round. Derek threatened to kick H in anger, he did it, it is not rubbish. If he can't handle the truth then that's not my problem. As Derek himself said, actions speak louder than texts.
23:06 HER: Derek has never ever said that 2 H were r u coming from u r not right in the head
21:44 DEREK: I feel I need to say something as things are starting to go to far. Your pathetic text messages are getting a joke and are very personal if you put as much effort into your kids as you did your texts you may get somewhere. I expect a change.
23:35 HIM: Frankly Derek, I really don't care what you expect. I too would like a happy life for all. You are being deceived by a master of the art. I have absolutely nothing against you at all but I do advise you to entertain the possibility that there is a lot that you are not being told. I put no efforts into text messages whatsoever, the polar opposite of my position with my children. This is an unnecessarily bitter and silly situation, on that we both agree. Until you are in the same position as a father, do not even try to judge me, you have no idea. I sincerely hope that you never do have any idea either as I would not wish that upon you. I would also like a change but I expect nothing of the sort.Thursday 12th April
08:22 DEREK: Unfortunately actions speak louder than text messages and for that reason you have been judged poorly. Even your family have given up on you so please less of the bullshit and yes I expect a change.
22:00 HIM: You know, it sounds like you are threatening Derek, please elaborate? Whilst you are standing on your pseudo high ground, proclaiming parental excellence with no experience of being a father please explain to me why you threatened to kick my six year old girl? A lot seems to be said about me, now answer that question for me and then reflect upon yourself for a while.......... Oh, and I'll tell you what I expect, I expect an answer to my question and for you never to threaten my children with violence again, just incase things aren't clear for you.
HER: H said that she dosnt want 2 go 2 your house 2night
HIM: Re your question of the 15th, I will do my best to be as close to 5 as I can, I have to travel for 2hrs to get home so it may not be bang on.
HIM: Re the shower, the washing machine is broken and we are hand washing clothes in the bath. How often do you send them here dirty, I'm not running a Spa service but always make sure they are cleaned, save for exceptional circumstances such as this.
HIM: Re H not wanting to come. Only last week you said that it was wrong to break a court order, wrong to stop visits and it would be the last time they came separately. It feels like I'm texting two different people here, such is the lack of continuity?? How many conflicting opinions do you have?
**both children collected**
HER: Is H ok? If not Derek said he'll come and get her .if I find out she's been treated badly 2night she will not b coming back the relevant people no this. I am also changing my number so u can not contact me any more
HIM: Of course H is OK. That last message was crazy?? I'm still reeling from the insanity of it. Firstly, Derek?? Who is he? I have been in a consistent and stable relationship with my wife for several years now and you won't even entertain the mention of her name, let alone her collecting the children. in that time your multiple relationships have been off and on and you expect to be able to offer one of them upon my doorstep of a Tuesday evening as some sort of Sir Gallahad, based on your hypocrisy, no chance. H has never been treated badly with us, just disciplined in line with her actions, actions that should be of no surprise to us based on your example. How was white horse hill this weekend? I hear Ordenance Survey have their best cartographer re writing the map of the British Isles as we speak, out of the country.....?
HIM: That brings me to the relevant people, is that some sort of veiled threat towards me? Lastly, changing your number, that really is the worst suggestion I have heard from a mother who has a responsibility for shared care with a father. How are we supposed to contact you if the children have a need to?? How would we make arrangements for collections etc? That on really needs a re think. Just set the right examples for the kids and perhaps they will take a good message from that and that will aid their upbringing.
HER: U really need 2 get over the fact that I left u, u r still so bitter it's really not healthy as 4 my string of relationships I've had 2 relationships one of which I have been with 4 2 1/2 years and we r engaged move on and try 2 b a good father now as I have said over and over do not contact me again.
HIM: :-) keep taking the drugs and please accepts my thanks for the laughter from which I am only just gathering breath. The best thing you ever did was leave me as I no longer have to endure you. My thanks for your act of kindness. All I care about is that the kids have a good upbringing. Has no-one told you that raising children is not a competition? Have a good evening.
HER: Oh I will as I don't have 2 enjour u
HIM: :-)
HER: When you have the kids on the 16th can u come at 5 as i have 2 work?
HER: Why had P not had a shower all weekend? He smells! That is disgraceful
HER: This will b the one and only time that I will allow P 2 go 2 yours on his own u do this again u won't have eigher u can't chose between your children what do u think this is doing 2 H's head? Her dad dosent want her! I'll say again sine them over 2 me
HER: P says he dosnt want to go 2 yours sorry!
HIM: How many times have you chosen that I can have only one of them, or neither. I'm just trying to teach H that she can't just behave as she has to P and anyone else that she so chooses. someone needs to set her an example. I'll come to collect P and if he doesn't want to come then he can tell me that.
**Phone call from P**
HIM: P has just said that you were never going to be out of the country this weekend, what a disgraceful thing to lie and teach your children to lie like that.
HER: I am actually thanks
HIM: So how are you going to a party at your mothers then? More worryingly, why has P just told me that it's "another lie"? Role model?
HER: I don't have 2 tell u any thing and I'm not going 2 my mums u can talk role model now stop texting
HIM: P didn't tell you that when you had the incident with H stealing the £20, he saw it in her room and she threatened to beat him up and break his neck if he told you. Her behaviour is totally out of control, I have told her that she will not be coming over this weekend as I will not reward that kind of foul behaviour. P could do with a break from her. She needs to know that she can't behave like that anywhere. I won't ignore it just because it didn't happen here. I will collect P only on Friday.
HER: Sorry u can't pick and choose wends I'm away so u will have 2 have her arrangements r in place and can't b changed u will have 2 have this wend and I find it unbelievable that u think it's ok to turn around on a Wednesday morning and say she's not going 2 yours I am not in the country sorry!
HIM: I called you several weeks ago and you refused to discuss this, saying you would deal with it in your house. Now you can, this weekend. You also continuously tell me that I am a second rate parent and should give you sole custody. Make your mind up. You have also denied me access with less than an hours notice before. You have set all the precedents here so don't call me to order on my actions. Just in case we are unclear, H is with you this weekend so plan accordingly.
HER: No she is not I am not here its in a court order that she is with u. If your such a good father why didn't you give P his inhaler 2day that u wouldn't give him back?
HIM: it's sat on his desk, if he didn't take it then the blame lies there. You should teach a 9 year old to take some responsibility for themselves. There is no debate over H this weekend by the way. How many times have you ignored the court order to suit you? By the way the court order is that you should make them available, not that I am ordered to have them. You are such a hypocrite. All I am trying to do is manage H's behaviour responsibly. She is out of control. There will be no further replies as I need to work now.
HER: I shall b going 2 the police just so u no as u r unfit
HER: P needs his brown inhala he's got 2 have it morning and night
HIM: My best advice is for you to get another one from the Drs as I'm away.
HIM: In reply, I did not threaten you in any way. You refused to answer 2 sms asking you if it was a yes, so I sent a third. Now I have the yes, at last. If you had of replied in the first place there would have been no issue.
HIM: Regarding lying about replying to you, I suggest you contact your service provider regarding the message that I sent on the 5th of March at 08:35, where I very clearly and nicely replied. Check your facts before branding others as liars.
HER: Do u have nothing better 2 do than send me texts?
HER: P has a friend 2night can u take him 2 cubs?
HIM: I think your last messages just contradicted its predecessor?
HIM: Firstly it's a week later and you still haven't clarified my question on those date proposals, please do today or I can't do it.
HIM: P has come over with his school trousers badly damaged and said you told him to wear them just before coming here. What's that all about?
HER: Don't threaten me I'd already said fine and u can talk I asked u 2 have the kids 4 the first time in 4 years as I was at a funerel and u didn't even have the decency 2 get back 2 me then lied to the childeren and said you did?? As for P's trousers I'd ask him to change them as they were dirty and 2 put clean ones on so get your facts straight!
HER: Congrats on the new baby, I'll get every one to put it on Facebook 4 u
HIM: I'm outside, can you send the kids out? Thanks.
HIM: Some advanced warning of dates that I will be away with work: Tues 17 April I can't have them, please let me know by tomorrow if you want me to have them on the 16th instead as I can if you let me know now. Thanks.
HIM: Also linked to the same trip, I will unfortunately not be able to have the children on the weekend of April 21st at all, or Tuesday 24th April. Again, I could swap Tues 24th April for Thurs 26th April, if that works, can you confirm that for me by tomorrow. Thanks.
HER: Yep
HIM: Just so I'm clear, yep to what?
HER: What you said funny it's it I ask u once in 4 years 4 one thing and yet time and time again u change things may b u should think about that
HIM: Are you saying yes to both changed Tuesday date proposals just so I'm clear?
HER: The childeren came home in dirty clothes H had food in her lunchbox from Friday it's distugusting how you treat your childeren.
HER: And P's lips were all split open? Do u have no idear at all??
HIM: How would I know about a lunchbox, she never has one and you never said there was one?? The only reason there was one was because you were too drunk and abusive on Friday to either take it from her or tell me it was there. I'm not a mind reader. Re P's lips, he arrived like that and we spent all weekend applying balm so check your facts please.
HER: Really???????????
HIM: 100% really
HER: I have a funeral on Friday is there any way u could pick the childeren up from school?
HIM: I'm not able to I'm afraid, and that's not a no for no's sake, I have a meeting on Friday.
HER: Thank u so much 4 getting back 2 me glad 2 no your so concered about the childeren.
HIM: What's wrong with the children?
HIM: I'm outside, can you send them out. Thanks.
HER: The childeren will be at the british legion in ******* they may need food.
HIM: Please explain more?
HER: What the fu k more do u need 2 no?!
HIM: Who are they with etc, and there's no need for abusive language.
HER: They r here
HIM: No, at the Legion, who am I collecting them from?
HIM: If you wonder why I'm asking questions, it's because you're not explaining the situation. I'm assuming you're at a funeral and I know no more than that. Explain it better and I will see the full picture.
HER: Just pick them up ASAP
HIM: If they are with you then make sure they are fed as you certainly haven't given me any notice at all.
HER: No they need food.
HIM: You have sworn at me, been rude and then not fed the kids. If you wanted me to feed them you could have asked and given me reasonable notice. You could have also behaved reasonably. Now text me when you have given them dinner and I will come and get them. Next time you want a favour, try behaving respectfully and I will be inclined to help.
HER: 5 mins pick up
HIM: I won't be there in 5 minutes as I've not left. Have you fed them?
HER: Just get them chips I'm not doing u r a real pick every one here is like what r u doing??
HIM: I'm reacting to your foul language and disrespectful messages. I really don't care what anyone else thinks, just what is fair. Now feed those children as you are meant to and when it is done, tell me and I will then collect them as soon as I can.
HER: P's gone if u want H shes here
HER: Go fuck yourself your a prick grow some bollocks and b a father
HIM: Your language and actions show who you are and what you are made of, look at yourself before abusing others. I will not be dragged into your game.
HER: What ever in a court order u r surposed 2 pick your childeren up at 6 your daughter is waiting 4 u
HIM: And in the same court order you are meant to feed them and I'm supposed to get them from your house. 90 minutes notice with swear words and abuse is way short of the 24hrs asked for in the court order you mention.
HER: R u picking her up or not? She keeps asking.
HIM: You've ignored all of my points, since you mentioned it, you have also broken the court order. I won't take this messing around and based on your comments I suggest you cool off and contact me in the morning to arrange a time to pick her up.
HER: Your daughter is here waiting 4 u 2 pick her up now come and get her
HER: Your daughter will be dropped off at cubs as u can't b bothered 2 pick her up as u r a prick.
HIM: You are really showing your nice side today.
HER: H thinks she gave u her invite? But she has a party on Sunday 2-4 it's a doctor who party at the British red cross in town
